Hot or Not?

Amongst the abundance of web pages involving girls, cups, meat, spinning, and overweight, geriatric men sucking each other off, the most vile and twisted of all shock sites has been ignored. Yes, friends, I’m referring to the proverbial “Big Kahuna”, the mother of all mothers, Willard Scott’s only equal in creepiness: hotornot.com. No other entity brings me pain and morbid fascination like the behemoth of disparity and low self-esteem that is hotornot.com. For those not familiar, hotornot allows members to post their individual photographs and have them rated on a scale from one to ten for hotness. Littered with tubbies, pudgies, lardos, fatties, porkers, and everything in between, hotornot is a magnet for beings so inhuman that the only thing that counteracts their own personal gravity is their repulsive ugliness. Here’s my take on it: I believe we should view hotornot as a sort of public service announcement; a commentary on modern times from which we can learn. I think each picture should have some sort of caption of warning, an advisory statement of how to avoid such a fate. Here are some are altered examples from hotornot.com:

Problem solved. Now, instead of a scar on the face of humanity it’s a usable PSA.

Presto! An end to embarrassing moments at Christmas parties…it’s really that simple!

Now we can understand his meaningless, alcohol induced lyrics. RIGHT ON!!!

It's true...look slightly above the sex produced calluses on her knees.

Who said grammar wasn’t fun?

I feel as though I've done the internet, nay, the world good by putting these images in a different context. It's important to learn from our mistakes in order not to repeat them. After all, we learn as much from poor role models as from good ones. Hotornot.com, here's to you!

-Jonathan